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Saturday, August 25, 2012

WEATHER



Weather
I often think the weather does not affect me that much…
Unless it is TOO HOT.
But it is now
 too cold
too dreary
too wet
my body aches from high humidity
And during the drought
It was far too dry
I would scan the skies looking for a cloud in that very blue sky.
At the beach when the wind blew at 135km in an August night
I just hoped we’d survive !!!
So weather does affect me….
I miss my woodfire  I once had….
It was wrap around nice warmth.
Love my electric blankie !
It is funny being a gypsy…and travelling along different climates
Different houses …
the first little house on my journey...it had just begun....

The view is always different….
Clothes are never quite right…
I will close on an amazing shoe buy this week.
I have been searching for ages for a pair of flat shoes, leather & some good arch stuff.
Finally got THE pair ..
I arrive home & after a day of them sitting in the box
I go to put them away & another pair I took when away.
THEY ARE THE EXACT SAME SHOE…
Italian upper leather so who cares !!!



Saturday, August 18, 2012

WINDOWS


WINDOWS
The soul …of a home….
The light source into a home…

And …..
The way we interact with the world…

Interesting... how much daylight it brings to our worlds..

Like now in a dreary winter window we seek the sun to stream in and warm & add light to the house….

In summer
We want to shelter from the heat by covering the windows.

Not unlike what we do for our souls…

There are times we seek light & warmth
there are times
we like to be shut away from the heat… and glare.
There are some,
 I have found who keep windows covered no matter what the season…
What is their reason I always ponder ????
I find that very difficult to comprehend….

In summers I get so annoyed after a while that curtains need to be pulled to keep out very hot summer days..

Kind of feeling one’s way through life….

Dark corners are not what I seek…..
openess and light...for me is key

Windows also let in noise…
Be it a
Birdsong
Thumping party music
Traffic
Storms
We can sometimes close out the noise
And just stare out….
Into the world…

Then there is the door…
Walk through into the world
Or open to admit….



Thursday, August 16, 2012

FOG


FOG…. 
It is one of those mornings where the fog has sunk low and met the road…. Cars slosh as they drive pass… that interesting kind of rhythm to the outdoor world.

Yesterday was tai chi…..  It is such a fantastic way to strengthen the body and exercise even the remotest of muscles.  The other great thing is the teacher is the physiotherapist ( & winner of some gold medals in a recent International tai chi competitions in Singapore ) he is able to explain how to recognise each of our limits…..& where if we over stretch a bit where that is felt…so it works !

The  driving sure did put some kinks into back again !  Silly attempt really. My machinist said she always worrie d when I took off in my car alone … it gave me a moment because I never think I just GO !!
About 10 years ago I was fearful to drive on the open roads…. I drove ther small city.. where I lived … but never on the open roads.
Even though previously I had driven the vastness to & from Brisbane to the south & etc etc…fear had crept in & basically my partner drove on day trips or holidays…. Actually that fear hampered the passenger style too  so rarely went great distances without so much bottled fear.
Then a change in my direction and a need that was greater than fear to reconnect with someone way way in the past… set me to drive long distances again..

I can still recall that day as I set off…..& nearly lost it once & that means go into a nice panic attack but I had been taught to breathe & cope & did just focus straight ahead…and there was the Hume Hwy…within about 30 minutes I had settled into the magic of freedom, singing at the top of my voice & enjoying the thrill!
Now I have driven so many more km I city drive & freeway drive & country lanes & mountain ranges !

I want to say to all those who are fearful....it may not always stay that way... for me I had learnt to work through some panic attcaks years before but there is that old thing called avoidance... and we take it....
It is also not for everyone t change... it is something for me that happened & a lot was to do what I call destiny....

I feel very lucky in that.... the days are certainly different now.....
I also learnt on those days of driving again & travelling to not knowing anything how much of a risk taker I was but that had been stifled as i grew and a script was written to be safe, to keep safe, to be responsible...
please other s first..... I read that script  on occasions but wander off ....as I find if I settled way too comfortable I loose sight of me... 

Monday, August 13, 2012

Back from Where The Journey Began


BACK FROM WHERE THE JOURNEY BEGAN
I drove in Saturday from Beechworth, happy to have the long drives at a closure… it was correct for me to do a U turn….
I gathered food on the way in hoping it would sit ok for the short ride home on top of all the stuff in the hatch…it did.
Everything worked as I switched the power back on & remote garage door lifted up…..
Unpacked most things and began the washing machine….

Also confirmed with a friend to come for a roast dinner & to exchange travels… she had been to the Artic circle…
my little wander paled in size…
But it is the grist to each mill & reflections  are wonderful to talk over as we dined on roast lamb  etc etc…..

I have a renewed feeling so that is fantastic….and have decided to spoil myself just a little and with that it is, reflecting a settling stage…
That is nice as being in flight mode for a year is hard work at times….always at the ready.
I discovered those things for me in the last blog as I made the desicion to turn back & it has given me a stronger version of self…

I quote another dear and long friend who wrote today
“ I am surprise to hear your back but read your blog and totally understand your experience.
You write so well and so honestly you have shared your experiences in a very vulnerable way.
Growth comes in ways we never expect don't they?
You are very courageous my friend and should be applauded for your adventures you undertake. Most people  live mundane lives and never try anything that takes them out of their comfort zone. You do challenge your limits often and well done!!” VF
How right she spoke….

And it reminded me to look at what I often do & it is challenging my boundaries…
 you know each challenge is a success!!
Because, from that we grow… even if it is hearing our internal dialogue and beginning to alter that… which can bring more inner journeying and rugged roads at times.. because it is not a simple snap out of that it is a process that each of us needs to come to terms with.

That is why I adore the creative process in my daily work it is working things out and learning new tools and new limits at times… and feeling most times a personal success.

Over my years I have been fortunate to experience personal success in many things I tried….
but I have my tape measure out and I do not measure to the success of another… 
because I am not competitive .. cannot be bothered with that ego antic… 
so much in the world at the moment is that way & also may I say highly critical but things are phasing down again….

To a time of sharing for the right reasons….
some are stepping off the centre spot & drifting into a more time for self…you know the spoiling ritual…
Just having time, I have always been amused  by the diary thing… be nice to see some spontaneous undiaried events!!!

Once back home I have begun a potted garden as I have a stone big space that lends to this look…
 I watched a TV show on some of the Italian gardens of the Merdici ? family..
the serenity in that structure & pots dripping lemons was just enough to set me wanting.
I have now 2 olive trees, 1 bay tree, herbs & lettuce &my rosemary tree joins them….more to acquire but one needs to paint a little each day !


Saturday, August 11, 2012

Tuena

This was the tweeny spot before I embarked on that drive following the green signs to Bathurst..
I have had some trouble finding exactly where it was I drove..

BUT DON'T GO THAT WAY !!!!!
GO BACK 
GOING WRONG WAY !!!
.

the Last Day Travelling


The  Last Day Travelling
At Bathurst again… it is a snap frozen morning but without snow
 ( a relief ).  If I had gone back over that dreaded Great Dividing Range it surely would have been snow capped !!!

I travelled via Cowra, to Boorowa , Harden & Jugiong to join the freeway just above Gundagai… This was a lovely drive over rolling hills & soft green country side.

Stopping in Boorowa  was a treat… things to explore…
I also Found Walsh’s Country Kitchen relishes & sauces. This is where their production is & we both had a stall at Hall markets in Canberra for years…& I love their products…made from real stuff !

I drove on... finding the freeway drive hard as it is kind of well just foot on pedal to 110km and stare! and one gets the opinion that 100 km is no distance at all !!!

I passed through Albury around 1pm & it was too early to stop for a sleeping place ..toyed with Beechworth ( a favourite resting place ) but it was Friday & probably booked out so drove on planning to stay in Wangaratta… & fuel up…. 
I found NO accommodation in Wangaratta as some event happening.

The lady at petrol stop make the mistake of asking how I was !!!!
I said re accommodation & she was helpful but also informed me Benalla ( next town ) also had some event on… 

I made the executive decision to turn around AGAIN…and go back to Albury.
But tried a motel in Beechworth first by phoning…& yes a vacancy at the Heritage Motel. YES !!!!!

The host is a very kind person, who offered me the discount of 10% as I carry a discount card, but had not asked for the discount… I was aiming for bed for night… H ealso told me the rooms had been renovated and they were  lovely…light & airy and well fitted out… just a treat .

I also got in,in time to check out the shops,a few things have changed ...the quilt shop was gone from the usual spot I found it in...& I could not find the shoe shop I was hoping to find.....but the lovely  bookshop was there..
On talking to the shop person, she told me the same accommodation hassel occurred when she & her husband travelled in Tasmania... they had some hr drives in dark... so be prepared all who wander off & hope to get a bed along the way after a long daily drive.....may well be a probelm even at 2pm in the afternoon.

CHILTERN EARLY yesterday morning just before I joined the Freeway....

Now here I am…
After a 3 ½ hour drive from there yesterday…. A major food shop on way in….and a friend who was in town for a couple days….after a trip to the Arctic… came to share a roast dinner….with me.
Nice way to end the travels..  


Thursday, August 9, 2012

Changed my View


CHANGING MY MIND
I AM WONDERING ……why I am suddenly being an absolute flake and changing my mind on large issues and rather firmly, if stress is felt, that I find is difficult to shift.
I think that is rather powerful in the choices one has… to not do something if it is causing distress to one.
It has a risk of :
.  losing face ….. which is feeling foolish.
.  losing money … so be it.
. in business in losing reputation .. not if you explain to your customers who you really are… take them along for the ride, let them rejoice with you.
Friends usually understand, some are not sure of one .. .and maybe questioning or critical…. But it’s jumping out of boxes unsettles some & excites others… perfect balance really!
However …. I prompt myself that it is only me I need to please…
ah ha !!!
Now it settles…. Like sediment in a muddy pool… soon clarity becomes the beauty of the pool.
To please one’s self is, at times an absolute luxury….it happens more if one is living alone… and has few anchors.
Why not embrace the freedom of choice…it may only be a small choice, but it is your choice !!!
Often we look on the other side of that, missing a partner to at times discuss a variety of options…. But it is not at  the moment a choice ..so freedom is there to take… so take it !!!

I have learnt from this trip of mine to follow the sun…
: Firstly I am a native Victorian…. It also settles my spirit a little.
I love the small accessible towns in Victoria as opposed to the vast stretches of plains, rolling hills or mountain traversing that NSW offers … I felt so remote.. in many ways on my shorten journey.  Everything seem to take so long.
: I learnt to pull up & listen to my body as it whined in the little motel room at some early hours this morning… listening to the man coughing in the next room……
: I learnt to accept this longer journey was not perhaps for me now….
It was ok.
Before this changing of mind I would push through this part of my nature… I would go on regardless, not to let my spirit of self down.
Now I have turned the corner and found yet another lovely view, different from one I embarked on 10 years ago…
It isn’t only about changing my mind, it is how that presents as I walk, as I comb  my hair…. How I dress … and I think how I eat will follow…
It’s exciting!





Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Day 3 we drive ....


The Drive on Day 3 …
I seem to be stretched in ways I could not have imagined when I set off on this journey.
Yesterday’s mountain  trek was replaced with a long drive on much flatter country but again REMOTENESS!!!!
I asked myself as I drove on yet another road that I had no idea where the next town would come into view or if in fact I was on the right road….that I would not finish up on some unsealed road again.

That drew me to make 2 decisions… to try not to traverse any huge mountains and to head towards the beach… where I think there will be more smaller  towns to choose for accommodation.

As I drove today from Bathurst to Mudgee up to Dundoo  I think to Meeree???  I was tired of the dreary drive…and kept wondering how I have made such poor decisions…
Of course I wanted to just dissolve into tears a few times & more towards the end of where I find myself tonight…in a “motel” at Greta…!
I was travelling to a place called Denman & was weary deciding if motel there I’d stay. Two motels booked out because of MINING…. Bring on mining tax when it gets this personal !!! And anyone seen the open cut mines closer to Maitland… I really did wake up for a moment…it is a vast scar in the earth.  Stop whinging over windfarms or check theses mines out first.
I can be glad that a lot of men are working there & hard by the looks on their faces after working, they were tired….and my whining I do feel guilty  of any critism for the jobs.. what is that called ..bitter sweet …
I dive toward Maitland on the advice of the last motel lady… I did ask if she could perhaps call ahead but she was reluctant…. I thought you’d feel very different if I drove into a wall because I was too tired…but it is what a lot do today … little shell… .
Anyway I drove with scant concentration.. lots of worry… & traffic busier…. Where will I stay ..if I cannot find a place before dark. I cannot see on open roads in dark… then a traffic block .. as a road is being transformed… stop & traffic a long way ahead not moving.
I am trying to be calm but I had spun out well before this… another towm & NO VACANCY sign… then this little General store & Pub & a broken down motel affair. It had a vacancy so here I am.. it seems ok…. So hope myself & my car are safe.
Today was a day I thought desperate thoughts… I could catch trains back & put car on train !... another was turn around…..but tomorrow will be fantastic….oui…
I will travel out early & stop early on a beach spot …..
After all this whining I did have a lovely catch up with Anni Downs in here gorgeous shop The Home Patch…..It is so good to converse freely about our thoughts and decisions and in the midst of her creations and wool felt and things & more.  If you get a chance her shop is really worth a visit.
It is that stores are creating a sense of their own identity….

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Following more sun


I finally set off on a highway
Sun shining both days which has been wonderful.
It took me a while to settle into the freeway drive at 110km for most of the 7hours I was driving … thought at first ..oh this is fantastic, then oh this is so boring….!
Mind you today’s  challenge  sure was in contrast but more on that later.
Early highlight was my first toilet stop at a large petrol stop.  I saunter in to find at the back of this vast place an entire  bus load of older ladies had wandered in before me…. Amazing as I stood sandwiched between conversations about missing toilet paper in one of the 3 toilets.
I was trying to figure out if I was much younger than them… didn’t matter once I had escaped.
Stopped to post a parcel and a stroll to a newsagent…. About half way….
Then had a fissy time at the HUGE Gundagai tuckerbox servo.  Some of the pumps were out of action, then another pump would not stretch over my car & finally a 3rd move … worked.
Go into pay & bit of silly queue thing going on…then the chip reader would not work.  Well I go to HIGH ALERT the swipe works & I am quizzing….why isn’t it fixed etc…
I find the banks really need to act more responsible with the machines ….  That feed straight in & out of banking accounts…
Today off I began after a lovely stay at Sundowner’s in Yass.  Filet steak delivered to my room for dinner & poached eggs today for brekky…
I wanted to go back to one of my favourite spots when I lived in Canberra, Berrima… and in particular Berrima Patchwork when Lyn Wilson owned & ran it…today it was closed…. And I just drove over to Bowral for a wander and then returned to Goulburn via Mossvale ( so gorgeous are the Southern Highlands )
Goulburn takes me towards Bathurst… I follow signs & so did Croowell which then leads onto Bathurst. 184km.
I had not ever been to Crookwell so that was a pretty drive & surprised me. I turne to follow the Bathurst green  signs.
BUT I ended up HIGH in the air on unsealed roads on the TOP of each range I drove over.. winding up & down & it’s all forest & it was NO WHERE ELSE TO GO !!!!!
I thought of the magnet I bought last week…” Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and grow your wings  on the way down “
100 km later I see some flatter landscape & a few farms but it took me some time to trust !!!!
Then I am in a provincial city hoping a sign  will lead me in nah…. Again.
I go by feel & am looking for a motel,one I pass is full,then turn a corner
 ( busy road to someplace….) there is a motel ahead and Anni Downs Home Patch shop on the corner..
So booked into motel & went over for some R&R in shop… meeting Michelle  & later Pete… tomorrow I hoefully will catch up with Anni before I drive  north

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Following the Sun

FOLLOWING THE SUN 

The car is all but organised....
Final destination is organised....
But within myself I still hang back a little...
I spent a week busy trying to sort out the clothes
my work to do while I holiday
my things..
favourite magazines,  
notebooks,
pens, 
pencils..
cameras, 
stuff to write on.....


One should perhaps JUST GO !!!
I decided to take today as ....
A is preparation day....
I cannot work now as it is all packed & sealed
I have some cleaning I want to do...
The paperwork can be forwarded to the book people....
but it needs some attention before ...that can happen.
A basket of magazines ...sit winking at me
So I am kind of winding down before the travels begin....