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Friday, June 26, 2015

Sometimes the view changes quickly

There are times now... the view of life can change so quickly
 There are times we are enjoying the richness of life
a friend or in my case more than one has a serious illness
The view of their world is altered in a flick
&
Mine is also...
But of course in a different way.
The friendship changes...things are different for them..
one can feel inadequate to help.
It glares up what I am not so capable of and also what I am capable of...
In that respect we are all different & bring our different qualities to the help. ...
to stroll with them....
to not try & cheer them up.....
but to get it ....
they'd cheer up if they could ! 
 My father, among many things.
  was bedridden in his early life through gout attacks.
As children we swam around these issues 
Taking meals to his room.... 
watching the fear in his eyes that  touch the sheets would send riveting pain through his body.
So I'd  plonk the meal on the bedside with long long arms & bolt.
In one case he was in bed for 6 months.
The drugs to keep the uric acid from building up were not available & so too aids to get around were scarce.
The sound of crutches on the wooden floor ....
later in this 6 month session 
a wheel chair was in the house..
I recall pushing him up to the corner of the street
but little else.
I am not at all a good nurse...
I just go into plain panic. as they say totally useless in a crisis of medical sort.
I am  good go for help person ...
because I know my limitations in this stuff I guess
But
I am a great conversationalist I have the ear to sit on counsel 
It always seems such a lessor skill
but it is all I can do.

And so the views change ....they always do though...
Adapt......
make soup....
Let the world softly settle.....
like fog as it swirls about & suddenly it lifts
It's a view that changed .


Saturday, June 20, 2015

I begin to dream when ...


I begin to dream ....
of heading north 
to warmer ways...
 when  I wake to the earth covered in a blanket of ice.

Today it was the biggest frost thus far.....the paddock over the road is still half frozen...
The sun is up....
but I still drift a little to the north


I day dream of warmer winters.....
where the windows & doors are flung open to embrace a warm day
Close enough to a beach...
so I could walk down to it each day...
but far enough away when the skies turn to violent storms...
 But, then there are the winds....floods often in recent years...
Here it is a summer than can melt the train tracks 
&
set our worlds ablaze with wild fires...

It is always good to day dream......
or 
I wonder if it will become a plan ???

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

In the Rain

I have been admiring this lavender bush recently ..as for I think the 3rd time, in 12 months it has bloomed full on, without a trim....
The bees still hang out here....so I tend not to disturb them....
I figure they have tough times in winter so let them have my flowers
 or
 sometimes the weeds that spring up in the lawn...
you know when one day you look out at the lawn & see all these yellow dandelions swaying..
each with a bee on them .


Today it began with thick fog...the kangaroos had come down again in the morning to graze over the road...as I pulled the blind...the sight was rather still & lovely.
Later the fog came lower & thicker
then turned to rain.
My mind wandered back now & then to a friend undergoing chemo therapy....
Hoping this dose was not too hard on him....
It rained for the farm so something went well.

It is so ? disarming, humbling to be in conversation with someone quite ill, but with so much spirit....& listen to the treatment regimes...
thinking why do I ever complain...
This stuff would have me walking off 
as I am not so brave....but I so admire people who are in these situations.
It is not a road friends should ever be left to wander along alone...
or to be brushed off by a it will be alright...
I have so many thoughts go through my mind as the conversation travels along many twists and turns...
laughter, serious consideration, listening, commenting 
It is so much to learn....
I feel so very small as I have these conversations...as they are awesome...
I feel very priveledged.

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Park ...

I love the lights... 
the backdrop of some of the trees is a perfect topic... to photograph
Most days I walk the lake.....
Many things change ..
including the time I walk....

It is so easy to be committed to a time 
we forget to grasp such freedom if it has come our way to exercise when....not a must do ....
but the body wants to....
So out the door I go.

Adjusting to a personal rhythm is something I have worked at over the years.
I left government employment & much regimentation in 1990..
&
easing into a new world
of working on own 
not a huge floor of people...

I had time frames as I began...
 painting pots for a shop that was a huge amount of nothing but painting pots time...
Then I gave that to another....
&
 took to doing a market each month, summer to winter through the seasons & weather !


Today 
.......many years on from then,
 I still have some strict discipline when I work.
Working via a website brings with it total unpredictability...
It takes time to adjust one's vision...

Sometimes though 
...like Friday, when a call came in early of a lunch date visit via the train...
so whatever was planned was just dropped... 
I can do it the next day now I say...
Besides
I loved the title
I have a Train to Meet...
It begins a story....
... that funnily enough began 55 years ago nearly to the day   ...


Thursday, June 4, 2015

Pigeon Pair


Sorry the picture is poor ..I was a house garden away & my lens isn't real strong..
But there...
 little top knot pigeons were sheltering under the ancient pear tree..
all huddled & fluffed up...
I wanted to offer them shelter & warmth...in what I think was our coldest day.

There are times in our lives we are not sure or feel capable in our abilities to help people...
Like these birds...
I had no idea if they would be ok out there but had nothing to really offer....
as my understanding was limited.
I felt a little inadequate....
that does happen at times doesn't it...
I try to be open, I am not always.....but I am mindful of it.
~~~
As in when ,people just need a soft place to fall as Dr Phil used to say..
I like that saying...
because when someone is weary from the world in whatever way...
sometimes we can smile with real warmth....
spend a small amount of time with someone...
None of us are that busy.....
Just take a moment in the busyness to take a look about...
Busyness can be one of those escape tactics...when meaning has been lost in life...
where people race from place to place...
just exhausts me in that sort of chaos.
~~~~
This brings me to.....
To embrace a person into a group... 
can certainly alter the dynamics of the group 
but that person can bring a different feel..change..when change maybe needed ..
as a group can isolate itself...
When the group takes in another it also has a glow that shines  outward into the world...
it gives us all a little extra light...a little more warmth...
you know it is healthy.
Mindful perhaps... 
see it is fashionable.

Another thing in groups...
it can muzzle one person to be silent.
It does take a small amount of courage & a risk of being isolated also...
But maybe, if it is in your heart...
you do need to speak up.
that too is healthier than making it okay for everyone else..

In  violent, threatening places  this is what is the norm..
one dominant who is keen to be ever powerful at the total disrespect of all the others in the group of surrounds, keeps the silence of what is happening...yes this is domestic violence, it is mega gangs & it is bullying...has some of the same components
So open your arms, 
welcome in new people.... 
have some life experiences...that are new..
~~~~

As I wrote on groups & dynamics it suddenly reminded me of a massive exercise I was part of in the public service in the early 70s
Group Dynamics
We were changing the way we worked from a linear structure & a certain strange competitiveness
to one of groups & cooperation
Where it was aimed to get through a certain amount of work....
it was happy to take the entire group into consideration..
It for me was great, but I recall some dreadful suffering of a few...who found it daunting to change... to feel for them to be accepted....& for the groups to ensure these people intergrated & were able to take small chances to be happy...
You know one person was suicidal from this massive change for them....
So as I said be mindful




Wednesday, June 3, 2015

A Very Different take now

do you ever find the need to turn around....
find another way of looking at your world...?
bored with some vague things....
it could be the winter's dull day....
but no I do not think so...
Much has been brought into strong focus 
&
like this glass dish...
the sun gives it a beautiful light...

I was chatting to a lady who was serving me in a Camberwell store on Sunday...
as she wrapped my organic soap purchase for a friend in bright blue paper...
Somewhere we began discuss decluttering.

I think I said I did a major declutter some years ago as I prepared to sell my country house & head for the beach....
I spoke of the town garage sale, the quilters & the friends who got to know I was letting go of more "stuff" as time went on...
How happy we each were as an object   I had once loved..was now going out the gate with a person hugging it close to them & smiling.
Then I explained after I headed for the beach, the truck with the worldy goods on board, crashed driving over a mountain
&
I lost all the big stuff
&
had no idea what I owned for about another 6 weeks.

How one makes do with a card table & 2 garden chairs....for the dining set up...
a loaned lounge...
a new bed, fridge & washer..
Perfect to just adapt

Now I said I had this urge to make a clean sweep again...
so this change of tack in the blog is something of that.

As I like to paint....I also like to write....
but the 2 do not always belong on the same page...

So join me on this journey....
I am analytical in thought...I observe ..& I think...
So could be any old thing I will drag out...
But we shall let the light shine through the cut glass & see where the stories are